Find Your Quietspace
In the midst of rage, frustration, or negative invasive thoughts, the brain is in a muddled state. Every one of us needs to find a quiet space in our minds in order to get back to and in contact with our authentic, genuine self.
With neurological challenges like OCD or misophonia, it is often difficult to find that quiet space. How do we know that the intrusive voice is not really our own? Do our thoughts of hatred for self or others reflect what we truly believe, or are they manifestations of “bad wiring”?
Our true self would not self-harm or spontaneously hate others. In order to fully understand and believe that statement, we need to be able to move into a quiet space, if just for a few minutes, to allow our brains to recalibrate.
Each one of us has that capability, regardless of the depth and intensity of our neurological challenges.
For those who simply harbor anger or negativity as a way of being—the thoughts that control those moods and emotions can also be made tender with practice and reflection.
For Women: 10 things about that voice in your head by Tara Mohr
1. It prevents brilliant women from sharing their ideas and stepping up into leadership. And by doing that, it prevents all of us from living in the more just, sane, loving, sustainable world those women would create.
2. That voice doesn’t exist in you because your mom didn’t give you enough this or that in childhood, or because there’s something wrong with you. It exists in you because you are human. Get a body, you’ll get an inner critic too.
3. The inner critic’s goal is to keep you safe from any possible harm, rejection, and even any joy. It likes the numbed-out comfort zone.
4. Whenever you reach an edge of your comfort zone, your inner critic will speak up, loudly.
5. It is a wild liar. It has no bias for truth-telling. It says whatever it thinks might make you leap right back into the cozy territory of the familiar.
6. Getting angry at that voice usually doesn’t work.
7. Arguing with that voice (“No, I really can do this! I can!) also usually doesn’t work.
8. There’s no workshop, therapist, pill, or upper arm workout that eliminates self-doubt over the long-term. We can’t be cured of it, but we can learn how to quiet it and act from a different part of ourselves.
9. What works is to name the voice for what it is (“Oh, I’m hearing my inner critic now,”), remember it doesn’t tell the truth, and take action in line with our aspirations – not in line with our self-doubts.
10. It’s possible to learn to hear the inner critic’s voice chattering away and to respond to it with wisdom—to not heed it, to not believe it. It is possible to locate a different voice inside, one that can lead you to what you want. We really can learn to listen to that voice